The above claims not to be a parody. it's from:

objectiveministries.org/kidz

Here's a telling quote form the site:

What should you do if you find an Atheist?

If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to
these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!

Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.

Please God, let this be a parody site.

Who should McCain select as his running mate?

You know, it would be fun to mess with their poll numbers, particularity with the writ-in potion. I wrote in Hillary Clinton just for kicks.

Four years ago today, Whuffle and I tied the knot. I was on heavy painkillers due to being rear ended a couple of days before and Whuffle was exhausted from dealing with all the last minute wedding arrangements on top of my less than stellar medical state.

It's hard to believe it's already been four years. It doesn't feel that long. It feels like a fraction of that time.

Tonight, Whuffle is taking me out for our anniversary. She's refused to tell me what she has planned. All I know for sure is that Caleb will be taken care of by some friends, I'm supposed to dress nice (which I did) and that I may need to change my clothing at some point.

Joinked from trowa-barton

Below is a list of 100 things that I think every good omnivore should have tried at least once in their life. The list includes fine food, strange food, everyday food and even some pretty bad food - but a good omnivore should really try it all. Don’t worry if you haven’t, mind you; neither have I, though I’ll be sure to work on it. Don’t worry if you don’t recognise everything in the hundred, either; Wikipedia has the answers.

If you'd like to participate, copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment on VGT linking to your results.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding The breakfast of Irish Gods
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi A nice curry dish. I should make it sometime.
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses It MIGHT be one of the exotic cheeses I';ve tried in the past. The names escape me.
17. Black truffle But only if you count black truffle honey
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes try em, I grow em!
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese And I've regretted it ever since.
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper There's a good story behind that.
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda I haven't tried it but I think I'll rectify that this Fall.
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar I prefer sherry with a cigar
37. Clotted cream tea Once, and it was better than I thought it would be.
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal I didn't taste anything else for the next three days, but I've had it. I'd forgotten the name but remembered the dish when I looked this up.
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu I'm not crazy ehough to try it.
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel I prefer it cookes, and cooked properly. I HATE it when it gets rubbery.
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi Tried it, found it not to my taste
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV I'm planning to brew some in the near future.
59. Poutine I had some of this when I was in Winnepeg on business.  Anyone know where I can find some good cheese curds in Boston?  Anyone know a good recipe for making them myself?
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin Wait, this is a rock. Who said it was edible?
64. Currywurst Haven't tried it but the idea appeals.
65. Durian Worst. Thing. I. Ever. Ate.
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette (Since I LIKE Scrapple, I'll lay claim to liking something even worse)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe It isn't all that good. I prefer Chartreuse
74. Gjetost, or brunost I haven't tried it, but <a href="http://biology.clc.uc.edu/Fankhauser/Cheese/Gjetost/Gjetost.htm">it looks worth the effort.</a> If I make my own cheese curds I'll have the whey to try this with.
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu Well, it's illegal to distill liquor in the USA, so I cna't make my own.  Hmmm...
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong I'll have to check Tealux
80. Bellini Haven't tried it but it sounds pretty easy to manage.
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

The American Family Association (AFA) mailing list had been quiet for a few days. I knew it wouldn't last. Donald E. Wildmon's (Founder and Chairman) obsession with McDonald's and the "Gay Agenda" reared its head again with the following missive. My comments are in green.

McDonald's does it again (A promising headline)
Dear Buckwheat,

McDonald’s has done it again. First, the company paid $20,000 to become a member of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce

(An organization by that name has the web site http://www.nglcc.org/)

and to have a seat on the board of directors.

This is a flat out lie. McDonald's is a corporate partner and not on the board of directors. The NGLCC has an article about the AFA boycott. McDonald's itself does not have a seat on the board, but allowed one of it's executives to have a seat on the board. Donating $20,000 to be listed as a "Corporate Sponsor" and letting a McDonald's employee take a seat on the board is a far cry from the level of involvement implied by the AFA, but then why should the AFA let facts get in the way of a an excuse to rile the base?

Next, McDonald’s refused a request to remain neutral in the culture war by choosing to promote the gay agenda. Then McDonald’s accused those opposing the gay agenda, including same-sex marriage, of being motivated by hate.

Now we learn that McDonald’s sponsors training for homosexuals on how to promote their agenda among corporations from the inside.

What exactly IS the "Gay Agenda" according to the AFA Anyway? I've discussed the "Gay Agenda" with a number of homosexuals over the years and the "agenda" boils down to "Leave us alone and let us have equal rights." The fear mongering from folks like Pat Robertson about homosexuals trying to recruit young Christians into sodomy is, as far as I can tell, a fantasy held by closet cases who desperately wish they WOULD be seduced by a homosexual.

A quick look at the AFA web site reveals an article using the long defunct TV show Ellen as an example of the gay agenda. According to the AFA, the "Gay Agenda" is an attempt to "normalize" homosexuality, specifically through "indoctrinating" children.

Out & Equal™ Workplace Advocates is a national organization devoted to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in the workplace. One of its primary purposes is to train employees how to aggressively promote homosexuality within the company they work for, all the way to the corporate boardroom.

A quick look at Out & Equal's web site reveals their goal is to educate people on how to advocate for equal rights. The AFA's view of homosexuality is becoming clearer. While I didn't find any evidence of the "They want to seduce our children" fear mongering I heard so much of on the 700 Club, they clearly see any attempt to gain equal rights or eliminate discrimination as an assault on morality and something worth fighting against.

The AFA and the gay friends I've discussed this with seem to be in some agreement on what the "Gay Agenda" is. Homosexuals want to be left alone and suffer no negative repercussions for being homosexuals. They want equal rights. The don't want another Matthew Shepard.

The difference seems to be the AFA thinks this desire is an abomination. They seem to think marginalizing homosexuals and seeing them beaten to death for being gay is just fine. Oh, did I use some inflammatory language there? The AFA must be rubbing off on me.

Part of last year’s Out & Equal Summit in Washington, DC, (sponsored by McDonald’s) was an organized march into congressional offices demanding same-sex marriage laws be passed.

That would fall under "Equal Rights."

At the bottom of McDonald’s half-page ad in the Out & Equal Summit booklet is this statement: “From neighborhood to neighborhood, coast to coast and around the world, McDonald’s is proud to celebrate diversity” (homosexuality).

I wonder what Donald E. Wildmon REALLY thinks of Fred Phelps.

I've been having some fun brewing beer and being a geek, reading up on the topic. A few weeks ago Whuffle started taking herbs and altering her diet a bit to improve milk production for Caleb. She even had a recipe for "lactation cookies" including brewer's yeast, flax and oats. I joked with her that I could brew a beer that included the ingredients she needed. As the list of herbs grew, I looked some of them up too and found some had been used in making beer before.

Last night, the joking ended and the planning started. Whuffle and I have a list of possible herbs and I plan to brew some sample teas to see what each of them tastes like. Within a few weeks I'm going to start a one gallon batch of beer designed to enhance a woman's lactation through natural means.

Members of the New England Skeptical Society may insert their "Woo" jokes here.

I figure the worst case scenario is that I gain some experience brewing with some ingredients I wanted to try anyway.

It was Friday, August 13, 2004. I was just a couple days away from my wedding. While I had the day off from work I drove in anyway. I was giving my notice at FinancialCampus and figured after six years I should do it in person instead of by e-mail.

My immediate boss, who considered me a fool for getting married, didn't even look up when I handed him my resignation letter. I doubt he even knew what it was at the time I handed it to him. The VP on the other hand had a "deer in the headlights" look of panic when he read it. He'd realized in the previous months that I was responsible for a lot of the behind the scenes maintenance and development that kept their online system running. He'd seen how I was the one who took charge during crises and major projects, and how I had a track record of fixing the problems.

I was in a great mood as I left that day. I wouldn't have an opportunity to blog about what happened next until August 18.

While on my way home from dropping off my letter of resignation, I was rear ended while stopped at a stop light.

At least I'm told that's what happened. What I remember is leaving the office, getting in my car, and waking up in the hospital.

I spent most of Saturday in the hospital, before being released in time for the wedding Sunday.

I got married this past Sunday n a haze of painkillers. I'm told people were impressed that I managed to make it at all, and understood my distant, dazed expression and actions.

The honeymoon was, of course, canceled. I'm very glad we had trip insurance, otherwise we wouldn't have had a prayer of getting the money back.

On August 25, 2004 I wrote:

The doctors I've seen have been consistent in expressing surprise at how well I fared given the accident, and have been largely amazed that I haven't reported any symptoms of nerve damage, particularly in my legs and feet. It's one of the first things they check, and most of them have looked at least a little puzzled when I reported that I could feel my legs and feet just fine.

Today is, therefore, a day to celebrate being alive, a day to be happy, a day to relish the ability to do things like get up in the morning, shower and dress myself without aid. I had grand notions of starting an annual "crashcon" and even managed to host "Crashcon 1" in 2005. Naturally, it's far too late in the game to make anything happen this year, but perhaps next year I should revive the Crashcon premise. The central event of Crashcon 1 was the smashing of am automotive pinata. This tradition should be revived in 2009, particularly since Caleb should be old enough to take a few swings himself.

Due to financial constraints, the cloth diapers Whuffle and I use at home are bulkier than the ones we send to daycare. As a result, when home, Caleb can only get his toes into his mouth during a diaper change, even though he can suck on them all day at daycare.

During the last day, a pattern has emerged.

Caleb needs a diaper change. I take off his diaper and he immediately grabs a foot and sticks a few toes into his mouth. He begins sucking on the toes with all the slurping noises normally associated with sucking his thumb. He looks up at me, smiles and laughs.

Depending on how awake I am and how cute he's being I'll laugh as well. Yesterday I dissolved with a fit of the giggles (he's a cute little boy) and was unable to compose myself for several minutes.

Eventually, I need to put the new diaper on him. He does his best to keep his foot in his mouth and he's amazingly strong for a four month old. The moment I get his foot out of his mouth he starts crying. He continues to fight and cry as I get his diaper on him and the corresponding diaper cover. By this point he's an inconsolable mess.

I then carry him around trying to sooth him. At night I'll put him in his swing, which frequently helps. If I think he's hungry or it's been a couple of hours since he ate I'll give him to Whuffle so she can nurse him. This results in him squirming and kicking, latching and unlatching and generally abusing Whuffle.

I need to examine the diapers we use at home to see if any will let him get his foot into his mouth while wearing them. I think everyone's nights will go better if this can be arranged.

Clearly, toes are for snacking

I had another odd dream last night. It was a new version of Harry Potter's first day in potions class, with a small twist.

Alton Brown was the Potions Master.

I don't mean Alton Brown was playing Snape, I mean there was no Snape. Alton Brown was teaching potions class just like it was an episode of Good Eats. Oddly, despite access to magic, he didn't upgrade the quality of his props.

Any guesses as to what such a dream could possibly mean?

I've seen some interesting things in Harvard Square.

The Stoned Skater

I've seen this guy a couple of times. The first time, he was skateboarding down the sidewalk when he came to an intersection. Instead of stopping, he jumped off his skateboard and let it roll into the street.

A car screeched to a halt to avoid running it over and he nearly fell on his rear. He was giggling uncontrollably the entire time. He staggered to his feet and walked into the intersection, retrieved his board and walked away, giggling. His clothing was interesting as well. He was wearing a wool cap, flannel shirt and corduroy pants on day that was humid and in the upper 80's.

I've seen him twice since then. Once, he fell off his skateboard, landing on his back. The second time I just saw him turn a corner on his board.

Two fun and unexpected fund raisers for cancer research

The Joys of Kit Brewing

Most home brewers stick with "kit" brewing, using a packaged kit to make their own beer. Most kit beer will be better tasting than bland commercial brews and far cheaper than comparable micro or craft brews. The kits also allow you to get consistent results, something that can be tough to manage when making up your own recipes. If I remember correctly, my Father's brewing consisted of a lot of kit brewing, but he did get into the habit of adding extra malt to boost the body and alcohol of the beer. I've had great luck with kit brewing, as well as starting with a kit and adding a few twists, like putting mango flavoring into a wheat beer.

I was an adventurous cook as a child.

The thing is, I have a bit of a mad scientist streak in me. My parents learned this when I was a child. I'd mix strange and irrational assortments of things in the bathroom or kitchen to see what happened. Finding Johnson's baby shampoo mixed with a generic store shampoo was annoying, but some of the beverages I'd concoct and leave in the fridge were apparently downright horrifying. I remember one particular beverage spilling onto the family room carpet when I was a kid. My Mother started at me dumbstruck when I told her it had contained apple juice, milk, instant coffee and was topped off with marshmallows.

I had a period of dietary "functional fixity" when I was in high school and college, but my experiential tendencies returned when I graduated. Adding Vanilla to scrambled eggs wasn't exactly revolutionary but Whuffle was surprised when I added cranberries to a stir fry. Just last night my Mother in Law declined my suggestion of adding Gara Masala to Salmon Croquettes. I've made a mental note to pick up some canned salmon, because I'm now keen to try it.

And then there was beer...

Now I have brewing supplies and books that encourage one to toss anything even remotely fermentabel or flavorful into a batch of beer or wine. I have a few one gallon and 1.5 gallon brewing vessels for small experimental batches. I've been experimenting with keeping my own yeast starter going for multiple batches, specifically a Belgian White strain used for the Watermelon Beer kit currently fermenting.

While the phrase "culinary powder keg" springs to mind things should be relatively tame for the next few months. I have a few kits sitting in the basement and they really should be used within a few months of purchase. I'm going to add coffee to one beer and I may use actual pumpkin instead of pumpkin flavoring for the Pumpkin Ale.

The planned experiments for early 2009

However, this Spring I'm planning to make a Dandelion Ale, which will use the entire Dandelion plant, based on a recipe from the Home Brewer's Garden. Now that I've tasted Midas Touch Golden Elixir Beer, I'm eager to try the corresponding recipe in "Radical Brewing" this Summer.

And then there are people who add chillies to their beer, which sounds like an ideal libation for a Hot Foods or Warm Foods party in 2009.

I wonder if anyone has had any luck making a Chocolate Peanut Stout... I should look into that for next Summer or Fall.

I checked my balance today and saw that my paycheck has been deposited. My first thought was "Oh COOL! I can pay more bills!"

I think this is a sign of maturing.

I've been using bits and pieces of the following song to entertain Caleb. It's sung to the tune of a standard march.