To the Homophobe:

I understand you're very upset California's legal system has overturned the state ban on gay marriage. I also understand that you want to convey this consternation to as many people as possible.

However, staring dumbfounded at the "Metro" headline announcing the ruling, before exploding in a string of loud obscenities, does little to help your cause or encourage people to consider your viewpoint seriously.

Additionally, gesticulating wildly on a subway platform is a great way to smack a bystander in the face. When one does smack someone in the face, don't be surprised when she hauls off and smacks you with her purse. The fact that you reacted with surprise when she hit back was itself, comical. Calling her a "Dike" as she boarded the train was similarly ridiculous. She could have agreed with every word you were saying and still smacked you when you backhanded her.

To the guy who thinks the word revolves around him.

The subway is crowded. This means, occasionally, you'll have to move a few inches to let people on or off the train. Glaring angrily at me when I stand up a few seconds before my stop won't make me magically vanish. Mouthing "Fuck You" won't intimidate me. I would also like to point out that the plastic straps provided for standing passengers are short and quite light, so even though you flicked one at me with considerable energy, by the time it rebounded off the edge of my glasses it didn't even have enough momentum to knock them askew.

I recommend you take some anger management classes, before you do something that results in a court order to do so.

Finally, I recommend you stop using spray on tanner. While you were not as orange as a Muppet your coloring was about as natural as bubble gum pink hair.